Why We Compare Ourselves To Others And How To Avoid It.


It is very common among people to look around and see what others are doing, but when it comes to comparing progress especially with our peers this will later become mentally draining and ineffective.

Being envious is normal and very common; you will find that for example many people in this day and age want to be successful and will even try the overnight get rich schemes that are flocking on the internet. They will see a very successful person on the internet and envy them.

Being envious can be a motivation and will make people want to know how that successful person did it, but being envious has its disadvantages in that in the long run it will be ineffective because the person envying the successful person is comparing him/herself to that successful person which can make the person to over react and not progress in life.

The key in succeeding in life is not comparing yourself to others but to look at your progress.

If every day you are making more progress then you are sure to obtain your goal. Also when it comes to your personal progress it is best to leave others out of it. Especially when you are on your early stages in a certain area, say for example you have a person who is inspiring to be an athlete and that person compares him/herself to another successful athlete who is in the same age group. This can cause the person to over react and possibly lead to stress.

If a successful person who is already established compares him/herself to another successful person in the same area this will lead to motivation. This is because the person has a powerful foundation.

Comparing your success especially to your age group can be stressful.

What makes us compare our success with others.

  • Competitive Spirit

People who have a competitive spirit most of the times tend to compare themselves with others (being a competitive person I know this). Especially with their age groups, if not taken care of they can easily lose your friends. Competitive people who compare themselves to their age groups who are successful see them as a threat and do not want to be associated with them.

What you need to know is that there is that one person that is ahead of you in that area that you want to progress but also you are ahead of another person who is trying to progress in the same area as you.

  • Social Media

Also to avoid comparing your success you can try to limit your time on social media or sites where you can easily find people in your age group that are successful. This will help you in that you will stop feeling envious and experiencing negative feelings or lower levels of satisfaction.


  • Friends

If you happen to come across a successful person and immediately you start to compare yourself to them remember this. Another person’s success is not a threat to yours admit and internalize that is irrelevant to your personal progress.

If you find yourself spending time with people who flaunt, in that they always talk about how they have successfully completed a particular thing or they are about to venture into something that is going to make them successful. AVOID such people because they are only interested in themselves and are not interested in supporting you.

Find people who share your interest, who are interested with you and encourage you to reach your goals. If you have no friends like this you can join forums on the internet or Facebook groups where you can find like minded people and they will act like a catalyst toward your goal.

  • Tradition.

We are all brought up with tradition. Tradition can be an enemy when it comes to success. You might find yourself working hard to achieve something because you know a person who is maybe your friend or relative that is successful and you are trying to do what they did for you to be successful. 

You should learn to break free from this tradition because this will only make your life harder. If you want to achieve success do what you are really good at to the best of your ability.

For example Michael Jordan trained to be the best of his ability in basketball and his success was obtained by doing something he was really good at.

How to avoid comparing your success to others:

  • Role Model – If you want to clarify your goal and want to be as successful as someone you aspire you should have a role model. Having a role model in your area of progress will give you positive motivation because you will be able to see what challenges they went through and it will give you the confidence and also catalyze your progress.
  • The only person you should measure up to is the person you were yesterday and if you can defeat that person you are doing well.
  • Do not focus on what other people are doing, spend your own time focusing on your growth and achievement
  • Find people who share your interest, who are interested in you and encourage you to reach your goals
  • Avoid sites where people flaunt their success
  • Your progress will suffer from emotional pain; you only require consistent effort and determination.
  • Keep your progress to yourself do not compare it to another person.

If you liked this post and found it to be helpful please leave a comment below or share it to a person who can find this to be helpful.

Read my next post on How To Find The Right Friend



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Duncan is the founder of Artofpersonalliving.com. This site was developed on the basis of helping people through life. You will find the techniques used in this site to be effective. “We all face trying situations; my goal is to help you to have a safe journey through life.” You can contact him at support@artofpersonalliving.com

Website: http://www.artofpersonalliving.com

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